Will you accept this rose?ABC/Maarten de Boer
Last week, ABC’s The Bachelor revealed the final two contestants competing for the love of airline pilot Peter Webber during this lackluster season. A day later, Democratic voters also revealed their final two: Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders.
It was a dramatic week. (Perhaps, dear viewers, the most. dramatic. week. ever?)
As it turns out, the longrunning reality show and our democratic process may have more in common than you’d expect. It’s not just that both are competitions—with each week, the cast getting smaller and smaller (and whiter!) as the contestants vie for America’s heart. But they also share in the spectacle: The debates, with their petty attacks and canned zingers, feel like group dates, only with moderators. The Democratic caucuses are like cocktail parties with delegates instead of roses. There are villains and fan favorites, personal feuds and public drama, and always someone who is there for the wrong reasons.
Before this season’s Bachelor comes to an end Tuesday, we pulled quotes from contestants and candidates, past and present, and from both sides of the aisle, to see if you can tell the difference between the 2020 candidates and Bachelor Nation.
1. “If there was a hot-air balloon that was rising and you needed to try and keep it on the ground, he would be better than me at that, because he is so fat.”
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Answer: Andrew Yang, about Trump
2. “If you don’t know me, watch your mouth, I will put you in your place. If you don’t want to talk about it, don’t bring it up.”
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Answer: Marshana, Bachelor Season 12
3. “I had a cat, but it died.”
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Answer: Marianne Williamson
4. “Gonna start adopting cats now.”
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Answer: Jami, Bachelor Season 20
5. “Suddenly, eating those eggs for me was something that didn’t align with my spirit.”
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Answer: Cory Booker
6. “Michael Jordan took naps. Abraham Lincoln took naps.”
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Answer: Corinne, Bachelor Season 21
7. “I like Abe Lincoln.”
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Answer: Donald Trump
8. “You’re getting fucked…and I want to unfuck you.”
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Answer: Andrew Yang
9. “You have to take responsibility for your own equanimity.”
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Answer: Marianne Williamson
10. “Like seriously, can we just bag this and go play blackjack?”
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Answer: Bentley, Bachelorette Season 7
11. “Deep, intellectual things are just my jam.”
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Answer: Olivia, Bachelor Season 20
12. “Mike can telepathically communicate with dolphins.”
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Answer: Mike Bloomberg’s campaign, on Twitter
13. “Listen, I’m not an idiot. I run a multimillion-dollar company!”
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Answer: Corinne, Bachelor Season 21
14. “I know that this girl right here is tough and strong and she is powerful and she is beautiful and she knows what she deserves more than anything.”
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Answer: Mykenna, Bachelor Season 24
15. “As women, especially in these times, we should be building each other up, not trading each other down.”
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Answer: Liz, Bachelor Season 21
16. “Now, I am Asian, so, I know a lot of doctors.”
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Answer: Andrew Yang
17. “I may be white, but I’m still a minority.”
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Answer: Nick, Bachelorette Season 13
18. “It’s a shame to find out you’re full of shit. And I’m looking around the room and seeing a lot of people full of shit.”
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Answer: Leo, Bachelor in Paradise, 2018
19. “I put a lot on hold for this…I got a dog at home.”
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Answer: Ben, Bachelor in Paradise, 2017
20. “I’m a little worried. I can’t possibly smell like cabbage.”
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Answer: Shushanna, Bachelor Season 20
21. “I wish everyone was as perfect as you.”
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Answer: Amy Klobuchar, to Pete Buttigieg
22. “You know, I wanna make art. I wanna write. I wanna make music. I wanna create things.”
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Answer: Beto O’Rourke
23. “I’m particularly fond of green grapes.”
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Answer: Marianne Williamson
