January/February 2009 Issue

Ahoy, Special Interest Maties!

Nine supposedly fun cruises you’ll never do again.

Illustration: Gordon Studer

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Ahoy, special-interest maties! If classic cruise activities like shuffleboard and midnight buffets don’t float your boat, fear not. With apologies to the late David Foster Wallace, here are some other niches in the sea.

MacMania Cruise Six days of seminars such as “Backing Up Your Mac” and “The Nooks and Crannies of the Mac OS”; past celebrity passengers have included Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak.
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Reboot over the railing

Gothic Cruise Now in its 19th year, a week of Rocky Horror nights, masquerade balls, and boatloads of eyeliner
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Slather on the spf 100

The Dr. Laura Cruise Last year’s voyage included four days of private book signings, wine tasting, fitness and makeover demos, and intimate morning walks with the conservative radio host.
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Learn about the proper care and feeding of cabana boys

Smoking Cessation Cruise Eight days of counseling and nonstop distracting entertainment
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Ignore that you are stuck on a long white object with smoke coming out of it

The Great Gig in the Sea Pink Floyd Cruise Three days with cover band Think Floyd USA
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Write “wish you were here” postcards

Bloggers’ Cruise Five days with Carnival Cruise director John Heald, who blogs about…cruises
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: H/T John Heald

Girl’s Get-a-Way Cruise Four days of single-sex Christian sailing, with G-rated stand-up, “Modest Is Hottest” fashion shows, and Full House star Candace “D.J.” Cameron Bure
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Kiss tan lines goodbye with your long-sleeved bathing suit

Sandra Day O’Connor Cruise Twelve days on the high seas with the ex-high court justice
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Wear your “friend of the court” briefs

Creation Cruise Last year’s passengers spent seven days at rest, marveling at Alaska’s glaciers—which are only 6,000 years old!
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: See polar bears before God calls them home

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WE'LL BE BLUNT

It is astonishingly hard keeping a newsroom afloat these days, and we need to raise $253,000 in online donations quickly, by October 7.

The short of it: Last year, we had to cut $1 million from our budget so we could have any chance of breaking even by the time our fiscal year ended in June. And despite a huge rally from so many of you leading up to the deadline, we still came up a bit short on the whole. We can’t let that happen again. We have no wiggle room to begin with, and now we have a hole to dig out of.

Readers also told us to just give it to you straight when we need to ask for your support, and seeing how matter-of-factly explaining our inner workings, our challenges and finances, can bring more of you in has been a real silver lining. So our online membership lead, Brian, lays it all out for you in his personal, insider account (that literally puts his skin in the game!) of how urgent things are right now.

The upshot: Being able to rally $253,000 in donations over these next few weeks is vitally important simply because it is the number that keeps us right on track, helping make sure we don't end up with a bigger gap than can be filled again, helping us avoid any significant (and knowable) cash-flow crunches for now. We used to be more nonchalant about coming up short this time of year, thinking we can make it by the time June rolls around. Not anymore.

Because the in-depth journalism on underreported beats and unique perspectives on the daily news you turn to Mother Jones for is only possible because readers fund us. Corporations and powerful people with deep pockets will never sustain the type of journalism we exist to do. The only investors who won’t let independent, investigative journalism down are the people who actually care about its future—you.

And we need readers to show up for us big time—again.

Getting just 10 percent of the people who care enough about our work to be reading this blurb to part with a few bucks would be utterly transformative for us, and that's very much what we need to keep charging hard in this financially uncertain, high-stakes year.

If you can right now, please support the journalism you get from Mother Jones with a donation at whatever amount works for you. And please do it now, before you move on to whatever you're about to do next and think maybe you'll get to it later, because every gift matters and we really need to see a strong response if we're going to raise the $253,000 we need in less than three weeks.

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