Freeze-Dried “Typical Diet:” Yours for $800

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Ever wonder whether the nutritional labels on your food are telling the truth? Wonder no more: For just $800, you can order “Typical Diet,” two six-ounce bottles of a freeze-dried blend of four days’ worth of all your daily recommended fat, protein, calories, vitamins, and minerals, prepared by the US government’s National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST). 

Nutritious and delicious? Maybe not. I’m not sure anyone has ever tasted this concoction (and in fact NIST warns it’s not for human consumption”). It’s used as a standard against which food manufacturers test the nutritional content of their products. The Guardian points out that fans of Typical Diet might want to check out NIST’s other fine food products, which include baby food composite, meat, and a standard issue fish from Lake Superior, methylmercury and all. But the fun doesn’t stop there:

Nist offers many kinds of useful and, to the connoisseur, delightful Standard Reference Materials. Its catalogue runs to 145 pages.

Prospective purchasers can peruse page after page of bodily fluids and glops, among them bilirubin, cholesterol and ascorbic acid in frozen human serum. There are other speciality products in dizzying variety: toxic metals in bovine blood, naval brass, domestic sludge and plutonium-242 solution, to name four.

Prices are mostly in the $300-$500 range. There are bargains to be had, including an item called “multi drugs of abuse in urine”, on offer at three bottles for $372.

Good news for all you 2012ers out there: Typical Diet doesn’t expire till 2016, so you can start stocking up now.  

 

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SIX TRUTHS

Reclaiming power from those who abuse it often starts with telling the truth. And in "This Is How Authoritarians Get Defeated," MoJo's Monika Bauerlein unpacks six truths to remember during the homestretch of an election where democracy, truth, and decency are on the line.

Truth #1: The chaos is the point.

Truth #2: Team Reality is bigger than it seems.

Truth #3: Facebook owns this.

Truth #4: When we go to work, we're in the fight.

Truth #5: It's about minority rule.

Truth #6: The only thing that can save us is…us.

Please take a moment to see how all these truths add up, because what happens in the weeks and months ahead will reverberate for at least a generation and we better be prepared.

And if you think journalism like Mother Jones'—that calls it like it is, that will never acquiesce to power, that looks where others don't—can help guide us through this historic, high-stakes moment, and you're able to right now, please help us reach our $350,000 goal by October 31 with a donation today. It's all hands on deck for democracy.

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