July 23, 2023

I Can’t Stop Laughing at Guys Mad Because the Barbie Movie Is Too “Woke”

They’ve had “Kenough.”

Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie in "Barbie."Photo by Courtesy of Warner Bros. Picture

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This weekend, I was among the masses flocking to see Greta Gerwig’s Barbie, adding my 20 bucks to the film’s history-making $155 million opening weekend. Starring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling as “stereotypical” Barbie and Ken, Gerwig’s film is as much of a celebration of pink as it is a call to smash the patriarchy. (Plus, there’s a killer soundtrack.)

Overall, Barbie has delighted viewers and critics alike—Rotten Tomatoes gives it an “audience score” and “Tomatometer” ranking of 90 percent. But it turns out Barbie’s central feminist message—why are so many men running the world?—seems to be getting to certain, you guessed it, men.

In fact, conservative commentator Ben Shapiro, clearly the most secure man of all time, posted a 43-minute YouTube video on Saturday, in which he bashes the “flaming garbage” movie, throws a bunch of Barbies into a trash can, and sets them alight, along with a Ken doll and a plastic pink car. (Take that, feminists!)

Out of some sick sense of curiosity, I started reading Rotten Tomatoes’ negative reviews. And then I couldn’t stop. For your enjoyment, here are 15 of my favorite “rotten” and one-star Barbie reviews:

  • “Frantic, uncheerful, and graceless, Barbie symbolizes a culture that devalues childhood and goodness.” —Armond White, National Review, July 20
  • “I made it a drinking game where I take a shot every time the movie says ‘patriarchy.’ I’m now in the hospital with liver failure and I only made it 1 hour into the movie” —JNewps17, July 23
  • “I don’t like this movie their trying to Brian wash us 😒 I hate movies like this I definitely won’t be watching these types of movies anymore. I should of watch freedom movie. next time.” —zel, July 23
  • “This movie was dog 💩” —Taylor F, July 23
  • “Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling can’t save story captured by man-hating agenda.” —Christian Toto, HollywoodinToto.com, July 19
  • “This is further proof of the disintegration of American intelligence. The only reason people went was because of the PR effort and brain washed masses. Sorry to say I was one. PLEASE do not spend money on this horrible fiasco.” —Ed, July 23
  • “Terrible movie. Terrible hateful plot. Lots of inappropriate jokes for young girls.” —Rob B., July 23
  • “For the first 30 minutes or so Barbie is a fun, feather-weight satire…Then the stuff about patriarchy kicks in and the film turns into a thinly disguised #metoo rant, trading comedy for man-bashing and a lot of confused point-scoring about sexism.” Jim Schembri, Jimschembri.com, July 19
  • “Its brain cancer in movie form… its just a man hating propoganda film” —Mike, July 23
  • “Borring femist movie” —Jordan M, July 23
  • “this is a movie charged with man-hating hidden in glitters and hot pink” —Jenna G, July 23
  • These feminists could not leave this movie alone. It only had to be a fun childrens movie with a positive message but no. Idealogy reigns supreme” —Allan G, July 23
  • “Terrible movie. More a drama than a comedy. Waste of good actors. As all the Hollywood now just trying to do what is politically correct.” —Robert, July 22
  • “They completely ruined Barbie. They took every bit of sparkle and enjoyment out of what she was meant to be. The creators of Barbie should sue for defamation. Save your money if you have any belief in family values.” Alicia, July 21
  • “Why does every movie try to teach me a lesson about something? Why can’t I just be entertained…” —Anonymous, July 23

The list doesn’t end here. There appear to be more than 2,500 verified ratings on Rotten Tomatoes alone. Let me know if you spot any gems.

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It is astonishingly hard keeping a newsroom afloat these days, and we need to raise $253,000 in online donations quickly, by October 7.

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Readers also told us to just give it to you straight when we need to ask for your support, and seeing how matter-of-factly explaining our inner workings, our challenges and finances, can bring more of you in has been a real silver lining. So our online membership lead, Brian, lays it all out for you in his personal, insider account (that literally puts his skin in the game!) of how urgent things are right now.

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