Barbara Cubin

honoring our rubber-stamp congress, whose members have found plenty of time to do squat

Image: AP/Wide World Photos

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She arrived in Congress already famous in Wyoming for passing around penis-shaped cookies to her male colleagues in the state legislature, which she later explained by saying, “People sometimes do things that they wouldn’t do in front of their mother.” Then, during the Florida recount battle, she screamed in a meeting, “We are bending over and taking it from the Democrats!” When some of her colleagues were alarmed by the rather un-family-values-esque image, she snapped, “Quiet down or you’ll get a spanking.”

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The Man Behind The Curtain Award

Dick Gephardt (D-Mo.) was summoned by Barbra Streisand to the coast to huddle with famous Hollywood political strategist Warren Beatty about the Democrats’ postelection malaise. The House minority leader had to endure a “dramatic reading” of Babs’ three-page memo, entitled “Nice Guys Finish Last,” which the media struggled valiantly to quote witheringly, except that it’s really, really boring.

Senator Jim Bunning (R-Ky.) sent out a fundraiser letter allegedly written by Thomas Towles. Towles is Bunning’s 11-year-old grandson. “If you can, please include a special gift of $500, $250, $100, $50, or even $25, along with your signed card to help his campaign,” wrote the child. “I know it would mean a lot to Grandpa.”

Dennis Hastert held a press conference in front of a throng of hard-hat-wearing “working Americans” — who were actually lobbyists in disguise.

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WE'LL BE BLUNT

It is astonishingly hard keeping a newsroom afloat these days, and we need to raise $253,000 in online donations quickly, by October 7.

The short of it: Last year, we had to cut $1 million from our budget so we could have any chance of breaking even by the time our fiscal year ended in June. And despite a huge rally from so many of you leading up to the deadline, we still came up a bit short on the whole. We canā€™t let that happen again. We have no wiggle room to begin with, and now we have a hole to dig out of.

Readers also told us to just give it to you straight when we need to ask for your support, and seeing how matter-of-factly explaining our inner workings, our challenges and finances, can bring more of you in has been a real silver lining. So our online membership lead, Brian, lays it all out for you in his personal, insider account (that literally puts his skin in the game!) of how urgent things are right now.

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