May 13, 2008

If Superman is a Democrat, Is Batman a Republican?

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DC Comics has just announced that it’s sending its characters into the most terrifying parallel universe yet: the American political system. At a comic-con last week, the publisher’s executive editor talked about its upcoming “DC Decisions” series, in which members of the DC universe will declare their partisan affiliations. “Everyone’s talking politics; it’s an elections year, and we’re going to try to see how the characters of our universe react to that,” he said, which I think means that his writers have completely run out of material. So now that superheroes are going to start meddling in domestic politics, which way will they swing politically? A few guesses at some of the exciting partisan plot twists to come, after the jump.

Possible political revelations in “DC Decisions”:

Superman: Illegal immigrant, journalist
Plot twist: Uses super-duperdelegate powers to reverse time and rig the delegate-counting at the Democratic convention.

Batman: Aging, super-wealthy crime fighter
Plot twist: Liked Giuliani, but now can’t decide between McCain and former president Luthor.

Robin: “Ward” of aging, super-wealthy crime fighter
Plot twist: Embarrassed when alternate-universe Obama is forced to declare that “Earth-Two Dick Grayson does not speak for me.”

Wonder Woman: Broke the glass ceiling in her invisible jet.
Plot twist: Once used her bracelets to deflect Bosnian sniper fire during a top-secret mission.

Plastic Man: Extremely flexible, perfect hair
Plot twist: This early Mitt Romney backer may sit this one out.

Green Lantern: Cool ring gives him godlike powers
Plot twist: Attacked on cable news after he says American flag lapel pins leave unsightly holes in his unitard.

Aquaman: Hangs out with fishes, probably suffering from mercury poisoning.
Plot twist: Sending telepathic signals to get Al Gore to run.

Supergirl: Superman’s cousin and occasional jailbait.
Plot Twist: Retreats to the Fortress of Solitude after her “I’ve Got a Crush on Kucinich” video is leaked.

Rorschach: Creepy objectivist loner
Plot twist: Being wooed by Ron Paul as a possible running mate.

All Paulite and DC fanboy hate mail in the comments, thanks!

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Readers also told us to just give it to you straight when we need to ask for your support, and seeing how matter-of-factly explaining our inner workings, our challenges and finances, can bring more of you in has been a real silver lining. So our online membership lead, Brian, lays it all out for you in his personal, insider account (that literally puts his skin in the game!) of how urgent things are right now.

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