If Superman is a Democrat, Is Batman a Republican?

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DC Comics has just announced that it’s sending its characters into the most terrifying parallel universe yet: the American political system. At a comic-con last week, the publisher’s executive editor talked about its upcoming “DC Decisions” series, in which members of the DC universe will declare their partisan affiliations. “Everyone’s talking politics; it’s an elections year, and we’re going to try to see how the characters of our universe react to that,” he said, which I think means that his writers have completely run out of material. So now that superheroes are going to start meddling in domestic politics, which way will they swing politically? A few guesses at some of the exciting partisan plot twists to come, after the jump.

Possible political revelations in “DC Decisions”:

Superman: Illegal immigrant, journalist
Plot twist: Uses super-duperdelegate powers to reverse time and rig the delegate-counting at the Democratic convention.

Batman: Aging, super-wealthy crime fighter
Plot twist: Liked Giuliani, but now can’t decide between McCain and former president Luthor.

Robin: “Ward” of aging, super-wealthy crime fighter
Plot twist: Embarrassed when alternate-universe Obama is forced to declare that “Earth-Two Dick Grayson does not speak for me.”

Wonder Woman: Broke the glass ceiling in her invisible jet.
Plot twist: Once used her bracelets to deflect Bosnian sniper fire during a top-secret mission.

Plastic Man: Extremely flexible, perfect hair
Plot twist: This early Mitt Romney backer may sit this one out.

Green Lantern: Cool ring gives him godlike powers
Plot twist: Attacked on cable news after he says American flag lapel pins leave unsightly holes in his unitard.

Aquaman: Hangs out with fishes, probably suffering from mercury poisoning.
Plot twist: Sending telepathic signals to get Al Gore to run.

Supergirl: Superman’s cousin and occasional jailbait.
Plot Twist: Retreats to the Fortress of Solitude after her “I’ve Got a Crush on Kucinich” video is leaked.

Rorschach: Creepy objectivist loner
Plot twist: Being wooed by Ron Paul as a possible running mate.

All Paulite and DC fanboy hate mail in the comments, thanks!

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Truth #1: The chaos is the point.

Truth #2: Team Reality is bigger than it seems.

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SIX TRUTHS

Reclaiming power from those who abuse it often starts with telling the truth. And in "This Is How Authoritarians Get Defeated," MoJo's Monika Bauerlein unpacks six truths to remember during the homestretch of an election where democracy, truth, and decency are on the line.

Truth #1: The chaos is the point.

Truth #2: Team Reality is bigger than it seems.

Truth #3: Facebook owns this.

Truth #4: When we go to work, we're in the fight.

Truth #5: It's about minority rule.

Truth #6: The only thing that can save us is…us.

Please take a moment to see how all these truths add up, because what happens in the weeks and months ahead will reverberate for at least a generation and we better be prepared.

And if you think journalism like Mother Jones'—that calls it like it is, that will never acquiesce to power, that looks where others don't—can help guide us through this historic, high-stakes moment, and you're able to right now, please help us reach our $350,000 goal by October 31 with a donation today. It's all hands on deck for democracy.

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