January 27, 2018

Why Not Invest Your IRA in HoboNickels and PizzaCoin?

87 cryptocurrencies far crazier than Bitcoin

iridi/Getty

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If you’re ready to swap your smelly old greenbacks for a virtual wad of cryptocurrency, Bitcoin, Ripple, and Ethereum are not the only games in town. CoinMarketCap tracks nearly 1,500 forms of digital currency. Their often baffling names offer little clue as to whether a particular form of cryptocurrency is a legit financial instrument or is just yanking your blockchain. A sampling:

No really, this is a sound investment

Bubble
Casino
iDice
Gambit
PonziCoin
Concoin
Evil Coin
TrollCoin
PetroDollar
InsaneCoin
HoboNickels

Bitecoin, anyone?

Bread
Cabbage
Sprouts
Honey
Melon
Cream
FlavorCoin
PizzaCoin
AppleCoin
LeekCoin
Cyder
CoffeeCoin
Sugar Exchange
BitBean
Mintcoin
DeepOnion
SproutsExtreme
PayPie
SALT

Deep, man

Karmacoin
Soma
Tao
BiblePay
Enigma
Halcyon
Life
Eternity

Political money

TrumpCoin
PutinCoin
BillaryCoin
Theresa May Coin
MACRON
Bolivarcoin
MaoZedong
RonPaulCoin
President Johnson (GARY)

Dirty money

SexCoin
TittieCoin
SpankChain
FuckToken
GuccioneCoin

Drug money

PotCoin
Marijuanacoin
HempCoin
CannabisCoin
GanjaCoin
Sativacoin
VapersCoin
Tokes
Psilocybin

Hate specie 

MiloCoin
Pepe Cash
KekCoin
GeertCoin
LePen

Rejected names for Game of Thrones characters

Tierion
Aeon
Tellurion
Golos
Bottos
Pluton
Etheroll
Darcrus
Everus
Primulon
Mavro
Aidos Kuneen

In your element

Titanium Blockhain
Californium
Bismuth
Radium
Mercury
Einsteinium
OsmiumCoin
Unobtanium

Not affiliated with Mother Jones (yet)

MojoCoin

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WE'LL BE BLUNT

It is astonishingly hard keeping a newsroom afloat these days, and we need to raise $253,000 in online donations quickly, by October 7.

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Readers also told us to just give it to you straight when we need to ask for your support, and seeing how matter-of-factly explaining our inner workings, our challenges and finances, can bring more of you in has been a real silver lining. So our online membership lead, Brian, lays it all out for you in his personal, insider account (that literally puts his skin in the game!) of how urgent things are right now.

The upshot: Being able to rally $253,000 in donations over these next few weeks is vitally important simply because it is the number that keeps us right on track, helping make sure we don't end up with a bigger gap than can be filled again, helping us avoid any significant (and knowable) cash-flow crunches for now. We used to be more nonchalant about coming up short this time of year, thinking we can make it by the time June rolls around. Not anymore.

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Getting just 10 percent of the people who care enough about our work to be reading this blurb to part with a few bucks would be utterly transformative for us, and that's very much what we need to keep charging hard in this financially uncertain, high-stakes year.

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