May 10, 2020

Donald Trump Is Going to Hate SNL’s Season Finale

Alec Baldwin—playing the president—drinks bleach.

Even in an episode produced in isolation, Saturday Night Live’s season finale opener delivered. The cast joined a virtual commencement ceremony in which Donald Trump, played by Alec Baldwin, is the only speaker that was available to the class of high school seniors.

“I asked you to vote today on who should be the keynote speaker,” Kate McKinnon’s Principal O’Grady tells the class, via Zoom. “Unfortunately, Barack and Michelle Obama said ‘no,’ as did your next five choices,” which included Guns N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose, the murder hornets, Liberty Mutual’s LiMu Emu, “that dude from 90-Day Fiance who looked like a hedgehog,” and the Elon Musk/Grimes baby. “So I moved on to your eighth choice, receiving one vote, President Donald Trump.”

Baldwin’s Trump congratulates the class of “COVID-19,” and jumps into a lecture in which he claims he’s been treated “even worse than they treated Lincoln,” praises his online college for ranking “number one craziest scam” by US News, and sips from a Clorox bleach container, which he refers to as “invincibility juice.”

He leaves the students with an inspirational quote: “Reach for the stars because if you’re a star, they’ll let you do it.”

Watch the full sketch below. 

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WE'LL BE BLUNT

It is astonishingly hard keeping a newsroom afloat these days, and we need to raise $253,000 in online donations quickly, by October 7.

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