August 26, 2023

Here’s Some Friendly Advice If You’re Attending the Minnesota State Fair This Weekend

There is nothing thirstier in the world than an elected official in the proximity of deep-fried oreos and first-responders.

Sen. Amy Klobuchar

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August is state- and county-fair season—a time to pay $15 to park on someone’s lawn, inspect displays of unreasonably large produce, and ingest something you really shouldn’t. 

In northern California, Guy Fieri bought a boy’s 266-lb prize-winning hog. In Wisconsin, a champion cow was named for a racial slur and no one said anything for a week. The Texas state fair featured deep-fried pho (“a perfect balance,” organizers say, “between flavorful and refreshing”). The Illinois state fair accidentally revealed that its butter cow is mostly not made out of butter at all. In Iowa someone tried to make a sculpture of Caitlin Clark out of butter, and then everyone seemingly conspired to pretend that it actually does look like Caitlin Clark. Ron DeSantis stopped by the same festival to win several stuffed Pikachus, and have a number of what the New York Times described as “the kind of unscripted interactions his campaign usually avoids.” (People called him a “fascist.”) Kari Lake, who is from Arizona and is not currently running for anything, was also there, to serve beer at a place called the Steer N’ Stein, but only after all of the Bud Light taps had been removed. 

A lot can happen at a state fair! But the real action this year isn’t in Des Moines; it’s a few hours north, at the Minnesota state fair, where, I’m told, you don’t want to miss the Minnesota firefighters at the Minnesota AFL-CIO booth!

I don’t have a lot to add here. According to the Twin Cities-based Fox 9, it was “Fire Prevention Day” at the state fair, which sounds like a good thing to devote a day to. The outlet promised to update its own story “when more politicians share their State Fair firefighter pics,” and evidently no one else has. So that’s probably the end of that. Let this just be a warning to those planning to spend some quality time at a fair this weekend: The politicians are out in full force right now, and there is nothing thirstier in the world than an elected official in the proximity of deep-fried oreos and first-responders. Plan accordingly and prepare for long lines.

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WE'LL BE BLUNT

It is astonishingly hard keeping a newsroom afloat these days, and we need to raise $253,000 in online donations quickly, by October 7.

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